koeppelicious:

Can we just have our own Anti-Academy Awards on the same night instead? And just not pay attention to the real ones whatsoever? They’re just sooo booooring. I just don’t care about them. At alllll. Expressing my feelings about them makes me sound like a stereotypical, apathetic, exasperated teenager who’s too cool for school. But if the Oscars are school, then I am too cool for them! They’re so boring! And that’s why I propose an Anti-Oscars. I say we have our own awards show, on the same night, and nominate all the people who really deserve to be nominated. Who really did make the best movies of the year.* I’m totally envisioning this as like, what the cool kids do instead of go to prom, or something. Just like an Alternative Oscars. Alternative in the genre sense of the word as well as the traditional definition. An Alt Academy Awards. Where everyone would wear Rodarte or Alexander Wang instead of Marchesa and Valentino. And just be total badasses. And maybe Patton Oswalt could host. And like real comedy writers could write for the show instead of having to cater to 80 year old Academy members and Nielsen ratings and all that bullshit. Jesus, this turned into my very own I Have A Dream speech. I have a dream, that one day films will be recognized for actual achievement as opposed to political lobbying and other nonsensical bullshit. That one day award shows will actually be consistently and reliably entertaining. That our children may finally know the difference between sound mixing and sound editing.

 

*And don’t gimme nunna this Independent Spirit Awards bullshit, neither. Those are like, too indie. Mainstream movies can be good too! All of these award shows have so many rules and restrictions, and they’re all so political! Who caaaaares about any of that bullshit. I just wanna give good movies like Drive a nice firm handshake and say, “Good Job.”